You Know I'm Right

Contrary to popular belief, the number one cause of strife in marriage is not money problems; it's selfishness. That's what Harry and Cheryl Salem told the congregation on a Sunday morning. And I have to agree with them.

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I've heard it said that most strife in marriage is because couples don't agree on how to spend money. And most of the time, each person's opinion in some way benefits himselves. The husband might want a new computer, but the wife knows that if he spends their money on a new computer, she'll have to wait longer for her new flooring. He reasons that his computer is outdated since it's ten years old. He didn't get a new computer sooner because the kids needed braces, school clothes, etc. What if the computer suddenly crashed? All their finances were on that computer as well as much of his work. He insists, "It's in the family's best interest for me to get a new computer."

But the wife might reason that the house looks outdated and it would help the family's allergies to get hardwood floors and be rid of carpeting. What will people think of them when they see how they've neglected to make improvements to their home? She insists, "Using the money for new flooring will increase the value of our house and greatly benefit the family."

If you find yourself judging who's right and who's wrong in this dispute — Stop! You're missing the point.

As husband and wife bicker and fight about who's right and who's wrong, they're destroying the peaceful atmosphere of their home, hurting their marriage, and setting a poor example for their children to follow.

The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 12:10 "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." Imagine a marriage where the husband puts the wife's needs above his own and the wife puts the husband's needs above her own. The result is a exemplary marriage in a peaceful home with emotionally healthy and stable children.

The husband and wife who work every day toward agreement and being united, are positioned for great success. When the people in Genesis 11 began to build the Tower of Babel, God stopped them by giving them different languages to cause confusion. In Genesis 11:6, God said, "The people are united, and they all speak the same language. After this, nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them!" Likewise, when a husband and wife are in agreement, there is no end to all they can accomplish together.

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January 19, 2022